Two steps forward, one step back. Or, in this case, 1.22 steps back. I’m up 3.8 pounds to 269.5. I had an extremely difficult week emotionally. I can’t seem to figure out how to stick to the plan in the midst of deep depression. Part of the problem is the fact the processed, unhealthy food feeds the depression chemically, then starts a spiral of shame that feeds the depression emotionally. I honestly don’t know how to fight this in the moment. In fact, in the moment, I don’t even care. I need to figure out how to keep the big picture in mind, rather than succumb to the thoughts scrolling through my brain – “Nothing matters. You’re just going to die anyway, why not enjoy the ride?”
I know this isn’t a very fun post. Fun is about the furthest thing from my mind right now. But, today I’m choosing to bring my feelings into the light, sharing my heart with this online community, and hoping for better days to come.