Progress Report – 12/9/2016

Two steps forward, one step back. Or, in this case, 1.22 steps back. I’m up 3.8 pounds to 269.5. I had an extremely difficult week emotionally. I can’t seem to figure out how to stick to the plan in the midst of deep depression. Part of the problem is the fact the processed, unhealthy food feeds the depression chemically, then starts a spiral of shame that feeds the depression emotionally. I honestly don’t know how to fight this in the moment. In fact, in the moment, I don’t even care. I need to figure out how to keep the big picture in mind, rather than succumb to the thoughts scrolling through my brain – “Nothing matters. You’re just going to die anyway, why not enjoy the ride?”

I know this isn’t a very fun post. Fun is about the furthest thing from my mind right now. But, today I’m choosing to bring my feelings into the light, sharing my heart with this online community, and hoping for better days to come.

 

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5 thoughts on “Progress Report – 12/9/2016

  1. I think we can all relate to your post today. We all have things that enter life that derail us from time to time, but the difference is some stay derailed and continue on down the hill of destruction. Some, fight to get back on the tracks to success. It might take a moment or two, or a couple days, but keep fighting to get to the train tracks again because there is no doubt that you can do it. You can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you. Keep up the fight!

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  2. Good word Beth. You got this Clayton! It doesn’t matter how many times you have fallen as long as you get up one more time. You gotta leave your behind in your past 🙂

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  3. Clayton ❤ I feel like the honesty here is a very positive sign that you have more hope than despair, more light than dark at work in your heart. How are you addressing the depression? It would seem a new approach to that might be in order…?

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