Keto Targets

Okay folks, here are my targets for hitting nutritional ketosis:

Daily Calorie Intake 1868
Carbs 25g (5%, 100 kcal)
Protein  137g (29%, 548 kcal)
Fat 136g (66%, 1220 kcal)
*Based on the Keto Calculator

That’s what I’m shooting for. It’s going to take some serious work. It also means that, in the short-term, I won’t be focusing too much on IF. I want to ensure I have enough energy and motivation to navigate the fat adaption process.

Time for brutal feedback. What do you think? Is this sustainable? Do you want to join me? Let’s take control of 2017!

Flex those self control muscles

Okay guys, I’m emotional. I eat when I’m emotional. Usually just when I’m sad and down, I suppose.

When I feel intense negative emotion, I want to eat a bunch of unhealthy stuff. I want to throw caution to the wind, forget all my goals, and just do what feels good (read: “pizza”). Yet eating is the last thing I should do, because that will just cause me to spiral into the depths of shame and depression.

Emotion is unpredictable. It comes and goes without warning.

Example: I just came across a picture of the building where my ex and I had talked about having our wedding. Just a stupid Facebook post, and boom, I’m here tearing up at my desk. What was the very next thought I had, you ask? “I should go down to the cafeteria and get some food.” I brought my broth and a little ham to have for lunch. That’s the plan. So why do I find myself drawn to the cafeteria?

I suppose the answer to this is temptation is to flex my self-control and will power muscles. They’re weak, but getting stronger. Two months ago I wouldn’t have written a blog; I’d be stewing in the shame of french fries and fried chicken. Three months ago I wouldn’t have thought to reach out to friends who know my struggles.

Eventually my self control muscles will be so strong I won’t even have to reach out (hopefully). I’ll feel the emotion, let it pass, then go heat up my broth without further thought. But that won’t happen unless I make the right choice, right now, in the midst of the emotion.

Onward, my friends!

Progress Report – 12/16/2016

So, I basically lost a baby this week. 7.4 pounds. Wow.

This morning I weighed in at 262.1 pounds, marking my lowest weight since I started this journey, and just 2.1 pounds away from my lowest weight in over 4 years.

What’s remarkable about this isn’t the amount of weight I lost – though it’s ridiculous and I’m still kind of shocked – but the fact that it came during one of the most emotional weeks in recent memory. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown on Monday, and I usually end up binging when I’m highly emotional. The fact I not only didn’t binge, but came through with a huge loss, is amazing to me. I don’t think I’ve ever avoided a binge in an intense situation like that.

I’m pumped!

Perseverance?

A friend of mine recently made an observation about my weight loss journey: “You’ve never gone more than 5-8 days without cheating.”

I’ve noticed a rhythm in my determination – 1 week on, 1 week off. I have a fantastic week like last week, losing over 6 pounds, and follow it up with a bad week, gaining almost 4 of them back. These are generally driven by my emotions (just ask my therapist).

The thing is, I’m trying as hard as I can (or at least as hard as I think I can, but that’s a topic for another post). So, something else is missing. Is it a spiritual component? Is it an aspect of my core character that needs work? I honestly have no idea. But I know I need to figure it out.

Here’s what I know about my journey right now:

  • can do it.
  • I have already done it.
  • I have the potential to make a ridiculous amount of progress in a relatively small amount of time (6 pounds in a week is borderline Biggest Loser territory!).
  • I have an amazing group of extremely supportive friends checking in on me every day.
  • I have a fantastic group of readers here on the blog who interact with and encourage me on this journey.
  • My experiences can help other get fired up about their own journeys.

There’s so much more to this blog than my own success or failure. This isn’t a solo project. We’re all part of this. I don’t want to report a weight gain to you guys. And I don’t want this blog to go dark for weeks on end because I’m ashamed by my lack of progress.

So, what are we doing to tackle the issues in our lives? It’s Monday, so let’s kick the week off well!

Progress Report – 12/9/2016

Two steps forward, one step back. Or, in this case, 1.22 steps back. I’m up 3.8 pounds to 269.5. I had an extremely difficult week emotionally. I can’t seem to figure out how to stick to the plan in the midst of deep depression. Part of the problem is the fact the processed, unhealthy food feeds the depression chemically, then starts a spiral of shame that feeds the depression emotionally. I honestly don’t know how to fight this in the moment. In fact, in the moment, I don’t even care. I need to figure out how to keep the big picture in mind, rather than succumb to the thoughts scrolling through my brain – “Nothing matters. You’re just going to die anyway, why not enjoy the ride?”

I know this isn’t a very fun post. Fun is about the furthest thing from my mind right now. But, today I’m choosing to bring my feelings into the light, sharing my heart with this online community, and hoping for better days to come.

 

I’m cheating on you

This post is different, because I really have no idea what I’m talking about. How’s that for an opening line to draw you in?

Virtually everyone on any sort of structured eating plan recommends some type of cheating. But what  constitutes a “cheat”? What are the parameters? Do I throw caution to the wind and eat as many pizzas as possible? Is it a cheat meal or a cheat day?

I have so many questions!

So, do you allow yourself a cheat meal? A cheat day? What’s your favorite cheat food? How often do you cheat?

Progress Report – 12/2/2016

You guys, I’m freaking pumped. I weighed in at 265.7 pounds this morning. That means I dropped 6.2 pounds in a week. Holy crap! I’m loving digging into the keto thing more and more.

Now, while the warrior plan worked out pretty darn well this week, I don’t think it’s sustainable for me. I was extremely hungry by the time I got home in the evenings, and, well, that just wasn’t too enjoyable. So, I’m going to work in some light lunches this week. I also noticed I’m focusing a bit too much on protein-based foods (read: meat), so I’m going to work more veggies into my dinners as well.

One major difference I’ve noticed this week is an increase in confidence. I’m finally learning to take control of my food intake. In the past, weight loss has generally occurred during difficult times (read: breakups and the ensuing depression). This week, I simply put in the work, prayed quite a bit, and boom, I was successful. This gives me the confidence and courage to keep putting in the work to take control of my life.

This week I also reduced my insulin intake quite a bit, mainly because I was afraid of my blood sugar going low. Well, that didn’t happen, and my numbers have actually been pretty high (180-190s). Now, that may be due to my protein intake being a bit high, but, since I was on the warrior plan this week, I doubt that. But, the adjustments I mentioned above, along with splitting the difference in my insulin changes, should do the trick.

What successes did you have this week? Anything, big or small, let’s celebrate together!

Lifestyles of the healthy and keto

“It’s not a diet; it’s a lifestyle.”

Yeah, BS. Anything that doesn’t allow me to go crazy on doughnuts and mozzarella sticks isn’t a lifestyle.

Okay, not really.

I’m having quite a bit of difficulty adjusting my mindset here. I really don’t want to be on a diet for the rest of my life. However, as a diabetic, there are certain lifestyle changes I need to make. They aren’t convenient, and they aren’t enjoyable, at least as of this moment. But, with a little adjustment in my thinking, I can shift from a diet mentality to a lifestyle mentality.

So, what’s keeping me from seeing this as a lifestyle? I honestly have no idea. There are moments when I think “Oh yeah, I can do this forever!” Then there are others when it’s all I can do not to buy out the entire potato chip aisle.

How do you view healthy eating? Do you see it as a lifestyle, or is it more of a rhythm of healthy choices with indulgences mixed in?

Progress Report – 11/4/2016

Monday brought the beginning of my true LCHF lifestyle. I had been weaning myself off carb-heavy foods for the month leading up to it, and I finally took the plunge. The scale congratulated me for my efforts this morning with a 4.4 pound loss! That brings my weight down to 266.3. I started this journey at 292, so this means I’ve officially lost over 25 pounds! I can’t tell you how great this feels. Wait… yes I can. This feels great!

I’m finding the LCHF lifestyle to be a bit of a transition. I was consuming 50-100g of carbs at every meal, but now I’m staying below 30g per day. That has brought about some intestinal… difficulties… But, 5 days in, things are starting to settle down. The one huge benefit I’ve seen is that I can actually tell the difference between a craving and true hunger. Last night around 9pm I thought to myself, “Man, I’m hungry.” Then I stopped and realized, nope, I feel full, and I really just want pizza. So, I popped a couple pepperonis and called it an evening.

This week was a bit light on the blog posts, but I’ll be ramping those up again next week. Stay tuned!

Progress Report – 10/28/2016

Well, it was a crappy week. Like I mentioned in my last post, I had a binge episode on Tuesday evening, and I spent the last three days attempting to right the ship. I wasn’t very successful. I gained 1.1 pounds, bouncing back up to 270.7 pounds. But, considering the week I had, I’m not very concerned. It’s been an emotional, trying time for me. A Thursday evening session with my counselor brought some encouragement and affirmation to my soul, which will launch me into this week with a renewed focus.

Monday I start the LCHF plan in earnest. I’ve been weaning myself off carbs for the last month, and it’s high time I commit and begin reaping the benefits of ketosis.

For now, I’m recovering from a rough week with a weekend trip out to Denver to visit a couple of my best friends in the world. 80 degrees, sunshine, and a round of disc golf at the #5 course in the nation will do my soul well.