Progress Report – 2/10/2017

Well, I stopped the bleeding and started moving in the right direction this week. I’m down 4.9 pounds, which puts me at 262.1. This week my goal is to get back to my lowest point in this journey – 259.5 pounds. That’s just 2.6 pounds, or just over half of what I did this week!

My main struggle of late is mindless eating. I’ll stop at McDonald’s on the way home, or cook up a frozen pizza without even thinking about it. Then I’ll get home, eat, then think “Wait a minute, wasn’t I going to bake some chicken and veggies tonight?” I need to be more mindful and present in the moment. More to come on this topic next week.

How is everyone else doing on their journeys toward healthy living? Please share, and let’s encourage each other!

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Progress Report – 12/30/2016

Remember that whole “It’s a holiday, not a holiweek” thing? Yeah, I was just kidding.

I tipped the scale at 262.3 this morning, which is a gain of 2.8 pounds. Given my complete lack of keto discipline this week, I’d say that’s not too bad. I mean, a gain is never good, but I also try not to have crazy expectations of myself during the holidays.

This weekend I’ll be weaning myself off the high-carb foods, and, after the annual New Year’s Day Japanese feast on Sunday with some close family friends, I’m back on a rigid keto plan.

Eating a large amount of carbs this week has shown me a few things:

  • I have a lot more mental clarity when I’m eating keto
  • I sleep better when I’m on keto
  • I’m more productive when I’m on keto
  • I just plain ‘ol feel better when I’m on keto

I genuinely miss the way I feel when I’m sticking to my plan. So, it’s time to get that feeling back.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Flex those self control muscles

Okay guys, I’m emotional. I eat when I’m emotional. Usually just when I’m sad and down, I suppose.

When I feel intense negative emotion, I want to eat a bunch of unhealthy stuff. I want to throw caution to the wind, forget all my goals, and just do what feels good (read: “pizza”). Yet eating is the last thing I should do, because that will just cause me to spiral into the depths of shame and depression.

Emotion is unpredictable. It comes and goes without warning.

Example: I just came across a picture of the building where my ex and I had talked about having our wedding. Just a stupid Facebook post, and boom, I’m here tearing up at my desk. What was the very next thought I had, you ask? “I should go down to the cafeteria and get some food.” I brought my broth and a little ham to have for lunch. That’s the plan. So why do I find myself drawn to the cafeteria?

I suppose the answer to this is temptation is to flex my self-control and will power muscles. They’re weak, but getting stronger. Two months ago I wouldn’t have written a blog; I’d be stewing in the shame of french fries and fried chicken. Three months ago I wouldn’t have thought to reach out to friends who know my struggles.

Eventually my self control muscles will be so strong I won’t even have to reach out (hopefully). I’ll feel the emotion, let it pass, then go heat up my broth without further thought. But that won’t happen unless I make the right choice, right now, in the midst of the emotion.

Onward, my friends!

Perseverance?

A friend of mine recently made an observation about my weight loss journey: “You’ve never gone more than 5-8 days without cheating.”

I’ve noticed a rhythm in my determination – 1 week on, 1 week off. I have a fantastic week like last week, losing over 6 pounds, and follow it up with a bad week, gaining almost 4 of them back. These are generally driven by my emotions (just ask my therapist).

The thing is, I’m trying as hard as I can (or at least as hard as I think I can, but that’s a topic for another post). So, something else is missing. Is it a spiritual component? Is it an aspect of my core character that needs work? I honestly have no idea. But I know I need to figure it out.

Here’s what I know about my journey right now:

  • can do it.
  • I have already done it.
  • I have the potential to make a ridiculous amount of progress in a relatively small amount of time (6 pounds in a week is borderline Biggest Loser territory!).
  • I have an amazing group of extremely supportive friends checking in on me every day.
  • I have a fantastic group of readers here on the blog who interact with and encourage me on this journey.
  • My experiences can help other get fired up about their own journeys.

There’s so much more to this blog than my own success or failure. This isn’t a solo project. We’re all part of this. I don’t want to report a weight gain to you guys. And I don’t want this blog to go dark for weeks on end because I’m ashamed by my lack of progress.

So, what are we doing to tackle the issues in our lives? It’s Monday, so let’s kick the week off well!

Progress Report – 12/9/2016

Two steps forward, one step back. Or, in this case, 1.22 steps back. I’m up 3.8 pounds to 269.5. I had an extremely difficult week emotionally. I can’t seem to figure out how to stick to the plan in the midst of deep depression. Part of the problem is the fact the processed, unhealthy food feeds the depression chemically, then starts a spiral of shame that feeds the depression emotionally. I honestly don’t know how to fight this in the moment. In fact, in the moment, I don’t even care. I need to figure out how to keep the big picture in mind, rather than succumb to the thoughts scrolling through my brain – “Nothing matters. You’re just going to die anyway, why not enjoy the ride?”

I know this isn’t a very fun post. Fun is about the furthest thing from my mind right now. But, today I’m choosing to bring my feelings into the light, sharing my heart with this online community, and hoping for better days to come.

 

I’m cheating on you

This post is different, because I really have no idea what I’m talking about. How’s that for an opening line to draw you in?

Virtually everyone on any sort of structured eating plan recommends some type of cheating. But what  constitutes a “cheat”? What are the parameters? Do I throw caution to the wind and eat as many pizzas as possible? Is it a cheat meal or a cheat day?

I have so many questions!

So, do you allow yourself a cheat meal? A cheat day? What’s your favorite cheat food? How often do you cheat?

Progress Report – 12/2/2016

You guys, I’m freaking pumped. I weighed in at 265.7 pounds this morning. That means I dropped 6.2 pounds in a week. Holy crap! I’m loving digging into the keto thing more and more.

Now, while the warrior plan worked out pretty darn well this week, I don’t think it’s sustainable for me. I was extremely hungry by the time I got home in the evenings, and, well, that just wasn’t too enjoyable. So, I’m going to work in some light lunches this week. I also noticed I’m focusing a bit too much on protein-based foods (read: meat), so I’m going to work more veggies into my dinners as well.

One major difference I’ve noticed this week is an increase in confidence. I’m finally learning to take control of my food intake. In the past, weight loss has generally occurred during difficult times (read: breakups and the ensuing depression). This week, I simply put in the work, prayed quite a bit, and boom, I was successful. This gives me the confidence and courage to keep putting in the work to take control of my life.

This week I also reduced my insulin intake quite a bit, mainly because I was afraid of my blood sugar going low. Well, that didn’t happen, and my numbers have actually been pretty high (180-190s). Now, that may be due to my protein intake being a bit high, but, since I was on the warrior plan this week, I doubt that. But, the adjustments I mentioned above, along with splitting the difference in my insulin changes, should do the trick.

What successes did you have this week? Anything, big or small, let’s celebrate together!

Food Holiday

Tomorrow those of us in the USA will join together with family and friends to celebrate something near and dear to all our hearts – food.

Sure, we may call it Thanksgiving, but let’s be honest here, we’re all excited about the mashed potatoes, creamed corn, and pumpkin pie. Notice something about all of those? They’re full of carbs!

In years past I’ve attempted to eliminate those items from my meal. Of course, they’re all sitting there at the table, and I end up eating them anyway. So, not only do I still have the carbs, but I get a nice, big helping of shame too!

Here’s the deal – Thanksgiving is a single day. Sure, green bean casserole (which must be at least 50% French’s fried onions) will drop me out of ketosis, and the pie a la mode won’t help the waist line. But this is a single day to gather with family. Enjoy yourself.

Now, when Thanksgiving is over, it’s over. Friday isn’t part of the Thanksgiving meal. That leftover pie goes home with someone else, and we’re back on the wagon come Friday morning. Go for a nice, long walk, (preferably without killing people in a mad rush to the discount TVs), and get yourself back into ketosis.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Progress Report – 11/18/2016

It was an up-and-down week for me, but I still logged a 1.7 pound loss. That cuts last week’s damage almost in half, so that’s encouraging.

I’m heading to Nashville this weekend, and I’ll definitely be indulging in a little southern BBQ, along with a whiskey distillery tour, so I’ll be slightly less keto than normal. But, I don’t plan on going nuts. That’s reserved for Thanksgiving.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, I set a goal of getting below 250 by Thanksgiving. Well, this morning I’m sitting at 269. As motivated as I am, I don’t think I’ll be able to drop 19 pounds in 6 days. So, I’m readjusting my goal to this: 245 by Christmas. That’s a loss of 24 pounds in 37 days. That’s going to require some serious work. But, I’m going to make it happen!

Lifestyles of the healthy and keto

“It’s not a diet; it’s a lifestyle.”

Yeah, BS. Anything that doesn’t allow me to go crazy on doughnuts and mozzarella sticks isn’t a lifestyle.

Okay, not really.

I’m having quite a bit of difficulty adjusting my mindset here. I really don’t want to be on a diet for the rest of my life. However, as a diabetic, there are certain lifestyle changes I need to make. They aren’t convenient, and they aren’t enjoyable, at least as of this moment. But, with a little adjustment in my thinking, I can shift from a diet mentality to a lifestyle mentality.

So, what’s keeping me from seeing this as a lifestyle? I honestly have no idea. There are moments when I think “Oh yeah, I can do this forever!” Then there are others when it’s all I can do not to buy out the entire potato chip aisle.

How do you view healthy eating? Do you see it as a lifestyle, or is it more of a rhythm of healthy choices with indulgences mixed in?